Why do guys avoid getting married until the girl pushes them?

Usually it seems guys want to avoid getting married, in a lot of cases, it seems they only cave in after the girl pushes them into it. Why can't these guys make up their own minds and then ask the girl? I mean you read about women who come on here and even when they have kids with the guys, they still have to push their men into marriage.Why do guys avoid getting married until the girl pushes them?
Great question.





Most of the women who you are talking about offer no incentive for the guy to marry her. The women may argue:





a.)


Well, he could have regular sex with me. [He already gets that.]





b.)


Someone will be there to cook for him. [He already gets that too.]





c.)


Well, someone will be there to do his laundry. [He already gets that.]





d.)


I'll give him kids. [Some have already gotten that.]





Where's the incentive?





Men use a lot of logic in their decisions in life. Please, ladies, try to look at it from a guy's point of view. Think about what's involved in getting married:





1.)


He makes the effort to decide if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.





2.)


He then spends time in researching for an engagement ring.





3.)


Then he spends the $$$ to get the ring. Think about it. Most guys think of a ring as, ';I can buy a car with that money!'; But if he's willing to let the $$$ leave his wallet because he wants you to be happy flashing your ring to your girlfriends, he must be serious.





4.)


Then you plan for the wedding:





a.) Order cake (color, size, taste testing)


b.) Invitation cards (what should we write?)


c.) Guest lists (who to invite, who not to invite)


d.) Research DJ's or bands


e.) Research best church, chapel, or hall (food testing)


f.) Which minister to use


g.) Seating charts for the reception.


h.) Writing vows to recite them in front of friends and family because he wants to show everybody he is SERIOUS.


i.) Go through premarital counseling to be sure that you both have the skill sets for the long haul.


j.) Goes through the stress of sending out invites, dealing with future in-laws, etc.





Yaaaaaaaaaaa! TMW = Too Much Work!!!!!!





*BUT* if a woman lives with him: HAH! He doesn't have to do items 1 thru 4a-j.





That's why I tell all my lady friends. Date a guy for a certain amount of time, but not too long. The relationship must be moving forward. If not, time to dump him.





Unfortunately, I know several lady friends of mine who dated guys for too long, now they're out of child bearing range. They blame the guys, but some of the blame needs to go back on them.





Who chose the guy?! Who was the one who waited to see if the situation would change?! The guy hemmed and hawed, but the gal blames the guy for wasting her time?! Puhleaaaaze!





She should've dumped his *** as soon as the relationship wasn't moving forward.





Young ladies. BEWARE! A guy will waste your time easily if you let him!





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*Why do guys avoid getting married until the girl pushes them?
It really can be somewhat stereotypical. I know personally I was the one balking at getting engaged/married even 3 1/2 years into our relationship. Honestly I was about 8 months into the engagement when I was 100% ok with actually getting married. It's not that I didn't see marriage in the future but we were both in school and it's like, what's the rush. Perhaps guys tend to be a bit more ';go with the flow'; so won't see a reason to get married when things are fine the way they are and you are both happy. Also, while guys put up a tough front I think they may have a lot of doubts when it comes to marriage and are worried about making a bad move or something. After all, there is no guarantee that they'll get accepted and what a blow to someone's ego that would be!
I can probably speak for most men and say that in our 20s we don't think about marriage. We are perfectly happy with a long committed relationship.





Take me for an example. In my early 20s I didn't think of marriage. I have dated 2 men that wanted to rush into marriage. At that time, I convinced myself that there was no point in getting married. Especially with divorce rate so high. Now im 28 soon to be 29. Im with a relationship with a woman that I truly love. We have been together almost 2 yrs (july will make 2 yrs). I am thinking about proposing to her.





So you see alot of guys think about marriage at a different point in our lives.
You are with the wrong guy. The right man will want to be with you for the rest of your life. I think guys also feel pressured to buy big engagement rings and be able to give women big weddings. There are some women who would laugh at a 1/2 ct diamond ring. Also I'm sure the guy wants to know 100% that this is it. Women know sooner. I knew right away. It took him 2 years to say 100% he wanted to be with me for life. I didn't pressure him. I was patient and I told myself if it were meant to be then it was meant to be. Women who whine and cry until they get their way are just setting themselves up for failure.
I think a lot of men these days are commitment-phobes .


women probably think if they don't push them into marriage it wont happen .


personally I don't see why women push it , some men can be content to be in a committed long-term relationship , have children %26amp; still be as happy as a married man . some men just don't want the legal binding .


I'd be happy either way as long as I was with my man . =)