Why would you bring a baby into a home where you aren't committed to each other?
The baby deserves better than that.
If you WERE committed, then you would be MARRIED.
No marriage = no commitment.
It's that simple.
My guess is that your folks and her folks are the ones who think it's THEIR (that's the right way to spell it, btw) business ... and they are right. It IS their business that their grandchild is raised by two parents who are fully committed to each other, and to the child. If you're not married, you're just playing house, that that's not enough for a baby.
If marriage didn't matter, it wouldn't exist. If it's ';just a piece of paper';, then why NOT do it?
It's time to man up and make it legal, my boy.
Why are you so afraid to do it?Why do people assume me and my girlfriend need to get married?
It is the ';norm'; to date, get married, move in and then have children. It is the way things are ';suppose'; to be. I can almost guarantee that the people telling you this are older than you, at least by 10 years. Im 28, but I must say, that maybe it is best to wait. Why not do things right, I mean, bibically. If you don't care about those types of things, then go for it and do what you want. But if you feel she is special enough to have your children, is she not special enough to be your wife also? I think maybe you guys should just enjoy each other and hold out on both. Or at least hold out on the baby. Remember once the baby comes you can't just pick up and go, and times are harder. Make sure you two can handle each other first, physically, emotionally and financially. My husband and I have lived together for about 2 years, married for one. Financially it can get pretty rough, and as much as I want a child, I know that having that said child would be very financially straining if not impossible.
Okay let's look at it this way, you and your G/F having been mentioning about having a child together and You get upset when people mention you both getting married. Who said she isn't thinking you will get married too. I must say most woman aren't ready to just give there life and have a child with a B/F and have no plans for the Future. she might think that you will want to get married soon by talking about a child and she agrees assuming you want to get married. did you ask her if she wants marriage or just assuming that she doesn't just because you are talking about a child and don't want marriage. I must say though I agree with some people if she's special enough to you to have your child then why not get married? did you plan on leaving her after the child at some point to be with someone else and her have your child too. Do you want to be just a Baby's daddy your whole life or mean something to someone. I bet you money if you told her that you want to have a kid but you don't want to marry her there will be a reaction. and people only suggest marriage also because it's best for the child to have a family full of love and unity and what is that child to think when he/she finds out there dad didn't want to marry there mother.
You you sure your girlfriend is really okay with never getting married? Or is she just saying that because she's afraid you'll be mad if she's honest about what she wants?
Do keep in mind that as long as you're not married, you'll have no say in matters relating to your girlfriend's health. For example, if something goes very wrong with the delivery and she requires a procedure but cannot consent, you will not be allowed to do so. Another family member will have to intervene.
everyone has 2 cents ... why are you so against that!
do you feel they might have a point and are you rebelling against that?
i don't think you should get married because your having a baby! but i will say if you do it will be easier on you all. why health insurance last night issues and a few other things that don't have any impact on the current time frame but in 10 years could!
but if you are talking about having a baby with other people and just giving out info and people are suggestion what they suggest it is their business as your making it their by talking about it!
What name will the child have?
What if something happens to your girlfriend in delivery? YOU will NOT be able to make any medical decisions for her because your just the boyfriend (unless you do the legal paperwork for it) and they will have to contact her parents! ! !
People love you and your girlfriend and want you to do things right! They are not trying to get in your ';business';! ! !
Don't get so defensive, you have chosen the ';nontraditional'; way. That is not to say that it is wrong. People just logically assume that this is how it will play out.
And if there are those who will judge, do you really care? As long as you and your partner and mature and consenting, and one is not agreeing simply to hang on to the other then to hell with everyone else.
There are no shoulds, as long as no one is getting hurt. Best of luck!
apparently you do care what others think or u wouldn't post the question.... simple answer - those that think God instituted marriage don't want to see you have a ';bastard'; for a child..... those that don't believe in God will simply say it's just a piece of paper --- either way ---we are all Fk'd up and everyone has oppinions - by the way in the end ';you be yourself'; .... don't be so easily offended...
1. People are nosy, its not their business, just got to gossip.
2. Its what we historically have done, its a carry over, used to be if you were illegitimate it was a big deal, not so much anymore. The word bastard is used quite commonly these days, many people may not realize that's what a child born out of wedlock is.
because people always have to put their 2 cents in.
%26amp; if you're not doing it the way they would you're in the wrong i suppose.
but you know what happens when people assume.
%26amp; in the end they wont be there taking on any responsibilities so don't let their views effect what you're planning. its your life.
People like to force their ideals upon others. That is just a simple fact. The best recourse for this is to ignore them. They aren't living your life and have no say whatsoever in what you do or don't do. The only weight the opinions of others have is that which you give them.
Well by having a kid together it means that you will always have something to do in each others lives and marriage completes that bond. It isn't really anybody's business but they all have morals and probably want you to do things right.
You don't have to but there are legal benefits to marriage, but if those people bother you that bad just tell them that you don't believe in marriage. Personally I do believe in marriage but I know a lot of people who don't and that's fine, each to their own.
the question is not why they want you to get married, as it is just a custom. The question is why do you care?. If none of these persons with such big opinions about your life takes the food you eat to your home, then why should you bother on what they say?.
Depends on YOUR faith. Do whats best for your child. I personally, would want to raise my child in a loving nulclear family where I'm married to the mother of my child. To me, it sets a positive example for my child to base their future relationships off of.
first come love then come marriage then come the baby in the baby carriage.
if you are going to make the choice to be in each other lives for the rest of your life by having a child why not get married?
Screw those people saying you have to its your choice if youo do or dont get married and they should be good friends and support your choice all the way
best of luck to you and hope you work things out :)
so the child is not born out of wedlock, and the people who care for you and want to show off the child would be very happy if you followed the norm of society.
prolly a religion thing. always get married before having a baby.. people did that to me.. and i have a 1 month old and still have yet to get married.. no worries*
they're probably looking out for ya.. what they think is best for the r/ship..
don't want their input then make it known that you don't need it or want it
Because that marriage certificate makes it a LOT tougher to cut %26amp; run if things get too tough. It proves you are committed to being good parents together for the rest of your lives.
Because there are already thousand of kids out here with single family. It needs to be two parents in the house that is all they are worried about.
Because most people associate having a baby with being married
Everyone has their own opinion.. personally though i would never ';plan'; to have a baby and not be married to the father.
They always assume.
why are posting this question in this section...
Because people need to mind their own business! Do what you want to do, and just be happy!
Why are you afraid to get married?
No comments:
Post a Comment