Thursday, January 21, 2010

My girlfriend is married and pregnant with my baby and is a Jehovah's Witness?

I would like any information on my situation. My girlfriend is wanting to be with me and divorce her husband. She is pregnant with my child and wants us to be. She is a Jehovah's witness and I can provide no answers to her. Her husband wants me to have nothing to do with it and that won't happen. I have been studying on my own since we have been apart and would like some guidance on how we can make this right and the end result being us both happy in our faith with our new daughter.My girlfriend is married and pregnant with my baby and is a Jehovah's Witness?
Well, there is obviously so much more to this then what you can tell us here. The best thing is to go to the elders of the congregation in your area, (if you are ';studying'; with the Jehovah's Witnesses as you say they will be able to direct you to elders you can speak with for some direction or support.) Elders are not lawyers so they can't give you legal advice. But they can direct you and encourage you and help YOU decide on what direction to take. As far as your ';girlfriend'; she will definitely have to take this up with her husband and her congregation elders. (They should be different then the elders you talk too so the situation can stay unbiased and balanced.) There's way too much involved to say it will work out for you guys or for her husband, we don't know the whole or real situation, but we can tell you that Jehovah's Witnesses are a loving, worldwide family, we all make mistakes and even commit sins like adultery, when this happens the elders realize that deep emotions are involved and they strive to handle these terrible situations with a mild spirit, but as spiritual older men who have the responsibility to the congregation to take these matters seriously and apply Bible based direction, remembering most importantly that spirituality is at stake, they will handle it as best they can, but they NEED to handle it. This is not something that can be swept under the rug and her husband can hide or you and this woman can control secretly. That's not only unethical, but it's not very realistic. JWs of course do not condone immorality or adultery and if your girlfriend is a practicing baptized JW then no doubt she will have to take responsibility for her actions, this may involve disciplinary action, but again we don't know the whole story so we can not tell you what will happen. I can say what won't happen though, the elders and the congregation won't condone her for her actions nor will they berate her for them, the elders will council her and hopefully she will listen to that council and choose to stay as one of JWs. Even when someone is disfellowshipped they can always return. The fact that she is pregnant with your child means that adultery was committed, which means (according to the Bible) is grounds for a divorce. Her husband can divorce her, she can divorce him. It is not a matter for JWs to decide for them or you, this is between you 3. The legalities involved have NOTHING to do with JWs, the elders can't advise either person in a marriage what to do or what not to do, they can only offer Biblical council, it is up to you, her and her husband to decide on your personal situations. Do not be mislead into thinking that JWs will demand one action to be taken over another, that is not what JWs do. They will only handle the matter as far a spiritual and congregational one, nothing else.





I can't imagine what her husband must be going through though, so please keep in mind that he has his own viewpoints that will contradict yours. Your girlfriend IS married so she obviously did not act in harmony with Bible principles and most likely hurt him emotionally, as anyone would be affected, JW or not. Whether you or she feel he deserves this or not, he still is her husband and he is emotionally, legally, mentally and spiritually involved, do not disregard or belittle these ties he has.





Whatever happens, please know that JWs as a whole will do what they can to help ALL of you resolve this, but it is God's standards set out in the Bible that is the most important issue. Whether there is disciplinary actions (disfellowshipping or reproof of some kind of your girlfriend) or break ups between you and her or her and her husband, or the many emotions that will be felt by everyone involved, no matter what happens, keep Jehovah in mind, pray to him constantly and after a while, things will settle down and hopefully everyone is relatively happy with how the situation was resolved, and ALL of you will have Jehovah helping each of you through this IF you keep him in mind and heart. And hopefully none of you leave him. It will be most likely a long and hard road ahead of each of you no matter what decisions all of you make, but don't lose Jehovah, keep studying about him and ignore the idiots here who tell you that we're a violent and dangerous cult. We're serious Bible students who love Jehovah and each other and strive to live by Bible standards, that you probably already know since you're studying. I hope things work out for all of you, don't give up on Jehovah or his people, no matter what, okay? And try to convince your girlfriend (if she remains with you) not to give up either. Hopefully her husband won't either. If you all keep Jehovah in your hearts and stay with him and keep learning and studying his word and remain in the organization, then eventually everything will work out. Jehovah never leaves us, we can leave him, but he'll never leave us. Even when we fall short of his word, he won't give up on usMy girlfriend is married and pregnant with my baby and is a Jehovah's Witness?
I think that your question is suspect, too. If you are studying, you already have someone that will answer your questions and you know how this will turn out. But she will be disfellowshipped and later you will question both her faith and honesty as well as your own reasons for serving Jehovah. This won't turn out well. Handle the situation in a way that will leave you with a clear conscience before Jehovah and her on the right path to repairing her relationship with Jehovah. If she and her husband separate, let it be because it couldn't be fixed and not because of you. Things will be better for everyone involved.
Sounds like a Troll to me...





Edit: But I will answer your question..





If she is baptized, she will get disfellowship because she had sex with you when she is already married. Now if you say you are ';studying';, then you should have known not to mess with a married woman to begin with. The only way to make this right is to go to the elders and let them know what you both have done. Then they will give you advice on what you should do using the Bible as a guide. Although like I said, if she is baptized she will get disfellowship.
Oooookay.





I am a Christian, one of Jehovah's Witnesses.





If you are/were a Witness then you know that sex is Strictly between Husband and Wife, and will/would NOT pursue a Relationship with a married woman, nor would she with you were she a Christian.





As for the scenario presented, as Father you certainly would have Some rights to the Child. That said, the happy in our new faith with our new daughter ideal, isn't realistic.





If this woman and her husband do get divorced, and you and she get married, then her husband has no say in the relationship.
well i am a jehovahs witness baptist and know lot and their has been situations like yours well i have an answer





well if you want to make her happy you should probaly study the bible because in many cases a lday from my congregation was expelled because ahe married a guy that wasnt a jw and had problems and her husband ended up killing the ladies daughter because her husband didt want them to be a jehovas witness so things end up wrog if you dont do thinks they right way


if you want to know more watchtower.org


or contact me at kimmy.217@gmail.com
A real Jehovah's witness will not get herself in that situation. She would wait for the honer to come to be married in a dignified manner. She will love her husband untill death separates them. The only bible based reason for divorcing is unfaithfulness. Of course, a real jehovah;s witness will accept it being disfellowshipped. Other wise you are on your own.
Why anybody would want to be with someone who cheated on a partner baffles the heck out of me.





It's easy to end marriages these days. The classy thing to do is end a relationship before moving onto the next.





(Unless you've agreed on an open relationship, of course.)
I am still confusing what you're saying because she is Jehovah's Witnesses but I am not sure you mean she hasn't baptist already or not.


If she study with Jehovah's Witnesses then she should know better not to do this.


This something don't make no sense at all.
Her husband is a fool, and you may well be one as well. Make sure that you are in fact the biological father and then make arrangements through the court to pay child support. After that, I would say that your obligations are covered.
Why would this be the right thing to do? Your 'girlfriend' is married. She has a husband. Let them work it out.


You need to stay out of the picture.
This is a private situation that really shouldn't be discussed over the internet but rather with the congregation elders.
She will be disfellowshipped, removed from the congregation.


You must go to the elders and they will help.
To be able to answer this with any form of discernment I think I would like to see your questions %26amp; answers to see just where your head is at before I decide if this is serious or a joke.
seriously? not going to happen.
If she did it to him, she'll do it to you........
Yeah... right! Not buying that.
if she is a Jehovah Witness she will get disfellowshipped
I am ONE of Jehovah's Witnesses. I am in 100% agreement with ';Make Sure';.





Always remember, that just because a person is ';labled'; as ONE of Jehovah's Witnesses does not neccessarily mean that that particular person WILL BE SAVED (this applies to ALL of us dedicated and baptized Witnesses). Our Lord and Master stated that ONLY those who actually DO the will of his Father will be saved and enter the Kingdom of the Heavens (be it Heaven itself and or the earthly domain of the Kingdom in the promised New Earth) will make it, NOT those that acknowledge him as the Lord but FAIL to DO the Father's will as it is written:





';NOT EVERYONE saying to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the kingdom of the heavens, but the one DOING the will of my Father who is in the heavens will. Many will say to me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and expel demons in your name, and perform many powerful works in your name?’ And yet then I will confess to them: I never knew YOU! Get away from me, YOU WORKERS OF LAWLESSNESS [or PRACTICERS of sin as shown by 1 John 3:4].';


- Matthew 7:21 - 23








To be sure, we as Jehovah's WitnessesMOST DEFINITELY HAVE THE TRUTH, however, as I always state, just because someone is IN THE TRUTH, does not neccessarily mean that THE TRUTH IS IN THEM. I in no way, shape, fashion or form am trying to ';judge'; my fellow sister nor would I. However, it hurts my heart and those of us whom are also deicated and baptized to Jehovah the kind of reproach that this brings upon His Holy name and His Truth as it is written:





';Furthermore, many will follow their acts of LOOSE CONDUCT, and on account of THESE the way of the truth will be spoken of ABUSIVELY.';


- 2 Peter 2:2





Jehovah Himself will forgive and help her IF she is truly sorry for that in which she has done, is sincere, seeks His forgiveness through our Lord Jesus and is truly repentant. The crime however, that has been committed against Jehovah as well as the encroachment on the rights of us her fellow brother and sisters to be able to come together in a spiritually clean enviroment by these actions are VERY SERIOUS, as she is NOT just a person from the world but is a dedicated and baptized MEMBER of the Christian congregation. As such, based upon the sacred writings of the Scriptures, her meeting with elders of the congregation, her attitude and whether or not it is determined that she has become a PRACTICER of sin... she could very well fall under the loving but STERN Christian LAW of disfellowshipment as CLEARLY outlined in 1 Corinthians chapter 5 and Galatians 5:19-21.





May Jehovah have mercy upon her, if she does get disfellowshipped, she CAN come back, however, this will be completely her choice to do so and or not to so... that is, IF that happens to her. King David himself was guilty of ADULTRY with Bathsheeba, Jehovah forgave Him (as He will forgive our sister, should she be sincere in her asking for His forgives through our Lord Jesus and showing by what she thereafter DOES that she was sincere)... however, David did have to deal with the truly bitter consequences of his actions from which Jehovah DID NOT shield him from.
Please stand back from your feelings, look at the situation objectivey, %26amp; unbiasedly read the following Scriptural articles:





';Marriage Should Be a Permanent Bond';


http://watchtower.org/e/20020208/article…





';Discipline That Can Yield Peaceable Fruit';


- Why This Firm Stand?


- Cut Off Thoroughly?


- What About Relatives?


- The Court Decision


- Discipline--Many Benefit


http://watchtower.org/e/19880415/article…





';When a Mate is Unfaithful'; :


- Infidelity--Its Tragic Consequences


- Is Reconciliation Possible?


- The Option of Divorce


- Meaningful Support


- Why Some Stay Together


- Who Is Responsible?


- Children Do Not Deserve Divorce


- Does God Hate All Divorce?


http://watchtower.org/e/19990422/article…





';Let Us Abhor What Is Wicked';


- Keeping the Congregation Clean


- Inevitable Consequences


- When a Dedicated Christian Sins


http://watchtower.org/e/19970101/article…





';Why View Marriage as Sacred';?


- Love and Respect


- Time and Attention


- Avoid a Casual View


http://watchtower.org/e/20040508a/articl…





';Man and Woman--Made for Each Other';


- A Dignified Role for Each


http://watchtower.org/e/20070115/article…





';What Has Happened to Love';? :


- The desire to be loved


- Why True Love Is Hard to Find


- How You Can Find True Love


http://watchtower.org/e/200603/article_0…





And, at some point,speak to the elders about your part in all this.


You aren't responsible for her actions, but, you are your own.


If you express that you want their help to put things as right as possible in Jehovah's eyes, the elders will be happy to help you.


If you insist on continuing down the course leading to a divorce, you'll be 'on your own'!





Will God Overlook Our Weaknesses?


- God's Dealings with Moses and David


- The Fight to Throw Off Sin


- God Expects Us to *Fight* Our Weaknesses


http://watchtower.org/e/20021108/article…
Ok. Wow. Tough one. If you are studying, you already know that Jehovah hates a divorcing, so if she and her husband are willing to remain married, that's what should happen. You would have legal rights to your child, just as if she and you had been married.You cannot 'make this right'. It is wrong, and now all you can do is to minimize the hemmoraging. If her husband is unwilling to take her back, or if she is unwilling to go back, that is different. If she leaves, and marries you, she will be disfellowshipped for adultery. There is a possibility that she will be, anyway. If you end up together, it will show an unwillingness to abide by Jehovah's laws, on her part. The best scenario would be for you to parent your child separately, but unitedly, if that makes sense. United in the aspect of faith, but separate as in households. Her husband has no say over your relationship with your child, but please respect the fact that he is wounded, and any confrontational behavior may make things more difficult than they already are. You can be a wonderful father to your daughter, and a wonderful brother in the congregation, all without causing the breakup of a marriage. A decision this life shattering is one that the mother of your child should not make until she can make it with a clear head, not one influenced by hormones and emotion. She and her husband, and you, seperately, should meet with the elders as soon as possible, to begin the process, whatever the outcome.


It's a hard situation, but not an impossible one.,


I do, though, remember an assembly in the 1970's, where the brother giving the talk told married ones, who had decided to cheat on their mates, and remarry, under the impression that it would be worth it to take the year or so that it would take to be re-instated, that what they had done was to 'deal treacherously with their mates';, and that they could not assume that they would be re-instated under those circumstances. Certain things are very serious with Jehovah, and treachery evidently is one of them.
There's not going to be any real way to make this right. She knows God's law regarding adultery and has broken that law. She thinks that by divorcing her husband and marrying you she will be happy. Take it from me. She will be far from happy. She will be wracked with guilt and if not initially, in time, she will become extremely despondent and sorry for what she has done. She may even come to realize that her marriage wasn't as bad as she thought it was and that you aren't all that she had hoped. She will then be without her greatest supporter, Jehovah God. I would advise her to break off this immoral relationship with you and go to the elders as soon as possible, repent and seek forgiveness. Apparently, by your comments, her husband is willing to remain with her and it's hopeful that they can seek counseling and get help. Otherwise, she's going to be disfellowshipped and the happiness she is seeking will only be temporary and fleeting. Surely you've got to know that what the two of you are doing isn't right and adultery is a rotten basis on which to begin a new marriage. A dark cloud will follow you wherever the two of you may go. Please reconsider this situation. Send her packing back to her husband where she belongs.
This is great reproach and shame you have brought on the Name of Jehovah and you can not be one of Jehovah's witnesses who is mature in their faith. What you need to do is take a look at the situation and see how it has nothing to do with you and your ';girlfriend'; but it has everything to do with Jehovah's name. You went and messed up a happy home and disgraced God's name. You need to be asking Jehovah for forgiveness instead of being selfish and just wanting to make yourself happy. Trust me this is a recipe for disaster. If she cheated on her husband she will cheat on you. She has no fear or respect for God so don't expect her to have any for you. What you need to do is seek God's guidance and finally stop thinking only about yourself. Do you know how that makes God and the rest of the witnesses? The end is too near to be doing unrighteous things of this sort. Think about what can happen to all three of you all. Nothing much that is good is going to come out of this. She needs to repent of her sins because no way will she escape punishment and she needs to know that.
First of all, how can the two of you be happy in your faith and raise a child that was produced in sin.





Second she cheated on her husband with you, do you actually think that their are no consequences for your actions.





The Bible teaches at (Galatians 6:7-10)





7 Do not be misled: God is not one to be mocked. For whatever a man is sowing, this he will also reap; 8 because he who is sowing with a view to his flesh will reap corruption from his flesh, but he who is sowing with a view to the spirit will reap everlasting life from the spirit. 9 So let us not give up in doing what is fine, for in due season we shall reap if we do not tire out. 10 Really, then, as long as we have time favorable for it, let us work what is good toward all, but especially toward those related to [us] in the faith.





What happens to the child if she cheats on you are the first person she cheated with?





Why can't you respect the husband's wishes, she might be telling him that she is sorry and she wants to work it out.





*** g95 8/8 pp. 10-11 Adultery—To Forgive or Not to Forgive? ***


The Bible’s Viewpoint


Adultery—To Forgive or Not to Forgive?


“FORGIVE whatever you have against anyone; in order that your Father who is in the heavens may also forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25) Those words of Jesus raise some challenging questions in the case of a marriage shaken by adultery: Must the innocent Christian forgive her mate and keep the marriage intact? If she decides to divorce, is she jeopardizing her own standing with God? Let us see how the Bible helps to answer these questions.


Must You Always Forgive?


Do Jesus’ words, “forgive whatever you have against anyone,” mean that in all cases—including when a mate commits adultery—a Christian is obligated to forgive? Jesus’ statement must be understood in the light of other comments he made about forgiveness.


For example, we learn an important principle about forgiveness from Jesus’ words recorded at Luke 17:3, 4: “If your brother commits a sin give him a rebuke, and if he repents forgive him. Even if he sins seven times a day against you and he comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” Certainly in cases of serious sin, the offended one is encouraged to try to forgive if there is sincere repentance. Jehovah himself views matters this way; to receive divine forgiveness, we must be sincerely repentant.—Luke 3:3; Acts 2:38; 8:22.


This also shows, however, that if an adulterous mate is unrepentant, refusing to accept responsibility for his sin, it is understandable that the innocent spouse may choose not to forgive.—Compare 1 John 1:8, 9.


Forgiveness—What About the Consequences?


What, though, if the adulterer is repentant? When there is repentance, there is a basis for forgiveness. But does forgiveness mean that the wrongdoer is exempted from all consequences of his wrong course? Consider some examples of Jehovah’s forgiveness.


When the Israelites rebelled after listening to the ten spies who gave a bad report about the land of Canaan, Moses pleaded with Jehovah: “Forgive, please, the error of this people.” Jehovah responded: “I do forgive according to your word.” Did this mean that the offenders were exempted from any consequences of their actions? Jehovah continued: “But all the men who . . . have not listened to my voice, will never see the land about which I swore to their fathers.” (Numbers 14:19-23) Jehovah proved true to his word; that older generation—with the exception of Joshua and Caleb—did not see the Promised Land.—Numbers 26:64, 65.


Similarly, when the prophet Nathan rebuked King David for his sin with Bath-sheba, a repentant David acknowledged: “I have sinned against Jehovah.” Nathan then told David: “Jehovah, in turn, does let your sin pass by.” (2 Samuel 12:13) Yet, although Jehovah forgave David, for the rest of his life David suffered from consequences of his sin.—2 Samuel 12:9-14; see also 2 Samuel, chapter 24.


These examples of divine forgiveness highlight an important lesson: We cannot sin with impunity. (Galatians 6:7, 8) A repentant sinner, though he may receive forgiveness, is not necessarily spared the consequences of his wrong course. Does this mean that the innocent mate may forgive the adulterer—at least in the sense of letting go of bitter resentment—and yet still decide to divorce him?


Forgiveness and Divorce


During his ministry, on three occasions Jesus spoke about divorce. (Matthew 5:32; 19:3-9; Luke 16:18) Interestingly, not once in any of these discussions did Jesus mention forgiveness. For example, as found at Matthew 19:9, he said: “Whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” By saying “except on the ground of fornication,” Jesus acknowledged that sexual immorality would give the innocent mate the right, or Scriptural “ground,” to divorce. Yet, Jesus did not say that the innocent one should divorce. Nevertheless, he clearly implied tha
If you and she truly love one another, consider getting her out of that cult immediately. Stop ';studying'; and do your best to find out who God really ';is.';





Contact her congregation's ';elders'; immediately to get her out. She'll be disfellowshipped and basically shown the door.





Friendly word of advice, she ';stepped out'; on her husband...who's to say she'll never do that to ';you.';





Just my opinions. If this is real, get her out, and you stay out, and keep your child out of that cult.
Well obviously shes not strapped to him otherwise you'd never have got her pregnant..





Now he knows the truth and she wants you, so just ask her to leave him..





If she truly loves you then the consequences for her should not matter just the love of you should be all that matters to her now..
Well, she has given her husband good grounds to divorce her.


Shouldn't be a problem now.


Good work on getting her out of a dangerous and violent cult by the way...
keep on LIVING...HER CULT will allow her to keep the kid...





troll alert....please dont lie here...seek out a good TRinity church.
She needs to be sure she loves you and wants to be with you.


Then you need to make sure she gets away from this cult.


You WILL NOT live happily ever after if she remains a JW although Im pretty sure she would be disfellowshipped anyway.


Good Luck but try to remember her husband in all this, after all he is the innocent party.


Dont rub his nose in it, she must make a clean break from him if its you she loves.





And disregard the ';If she did it to him, she'lll do it you'; ..that's not necessarily true.





Edit: I cannot believe the ';Christian'; response you have had from other JW's...All making sure they put their ';This is wrong, evil etc'; bit in....Shame on them.


There is a child involved here and so what she was unfaithful..**** happens...Yes you should have known better, and neither did she obvioulsy..the good JW she wasnt!...you didnt and here you are.


Get her away from theses idiots, dont tell your business to the pervy nosey elders for them to ';judge'; you either.


get her away, stand by her and be a good partner and father..And stay away from married women in future.

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