What would you do if you just got married and your wife or husband wants to stay a virgin?

Explain your reasons. Would you respect your spouse's choice? After all, it's his or her body and not everyone is interested in ';making love'; secondly, would you accept that you married for love and not lust? In this case, there is so much more than what goes on in the bedroom.What would you do if you just got married and your wife or husband wants to stay a virgin?
I would probably feel a little disappointed, especially since that would mean I could never have kids, but I think i would respect their choices and I suppose i can always adopt kids, or be a foster home..


I think it would be nice to know someone had wanted to marry me out of love and not out of lust.





On the other hand, it means that that person isn't attracted to me physically, which would sting a little, but like i said i think i could get used to it. No sex, i can live with, but so long as we still have a deep emotional connection reckon i could live with it.What would you do if you just got married and your wife or husband wants to stay a virgin?
Staying a virgin in my house would not be an option. This would be discussed before we decided to get married. But first I would look at the reasoning behind why they wanted to stay a virgin. In my opinion the purpose of marriage is to be in a committed relationship and eventually have a family. If we were not going to do that then I would not marry. Having sex with someone you love is not ';lust'; it is just another way to show that person you love them. Lust happens when you sleep with some one just because you want to have sex with them.
This is something that SHOULD have been discussed before the marriage took place. Sex is a big part of the overwhelming majority of marriages it is as close as two people can physically get and it's also how babies are made (unless of course you want to got he incredibly impersonal route of ejaculating into a cup and inseminating) . I would not want to marry a man who didn't want to make love to me, it's not just about lust, how sad that you think so little about what is (or should be) an incredible, wonderful experience between two people who love each other
That is NOT love if the person is not willing to give the other their full body. Making love is very important in a marriage. In fact, the bible says that neglecting the spouse sexually is a logical and acceptable reason for divorce. I would talk with my spouse, and if he would not give in, I would get an annulment. You're right that marriage has a lot to do with other things, but sex is very important and healthy in a marriage.
I would ask why this did not come up before the 'I do's'........and I am sorry, if the celibacy is by choice rather than by a physical problem, then I would quietly go my separate way because it's not my choice and to have it made for me would be terribly unfair....some one who chooses to be celibate had either not marry or make d@mn sure they are up front about it from the get-go. I would never be celibate if I had the choice, the intimate part of married love I would miss terribly as there's a closeness there that cannot be described in words, and I would always question why someone would choose not to share that closeness.......I would always feel that they were holding back a large part of who they are from me, and was choosing not to share themselves on an intimate level.
That would be like being married to your best friend. You don't sleep with your best friend but you and your spouse should want to make love to each other. That is a huge part of marital intimacy and a big reason as why some marriages don't work out. That said, I cannot imagine marrying anyone without living with them first and having sex first. You don't buy a car without testdriving it and you don't walk into a marriage blind without knowing what that person is like in all aspects. Otherwise you may find yourself miserable in a situation you can't easily get out of if you had known what you did beforehand to save yourself the heartache.
I would probably ask their reasons.


but i would respect their choice once i understood, but i would probably get the marriage annulled (';making love'; is part of marriage)


yes there is more than what goes on in the bedroom , but that is also a part of marriage and the virgin spouse should respect that too


Men %26amp; women were created for each other, to be companions %26amp; part of the companionship is definiatly not being virgins.
i would get an annulment immediately. them wanting to remain virgin would be a personal choice and not a mutual one...which of course is not very marriage-like. who says making love is only and act of 'lust'?





it is a necessary sensory act that feeds the mind soul and heart, especially for a good marriage. there was a time that this act came before anyone realized that it produced children.
Get the marriage annulled. Since it hasn't and won't be consummated, then it would be no problem.





Getting married implies you are giving yourself over to the other, sharing all aspects of your life and self. So stating after you've gotten married that you wish to remain a virgin constitutes fraud through a lie, and therefore makes the contract of marriage void.
Personally, I dont know if I could get merried to a girl who would never want to have sex. I mean, I dont belive in pre-merrital sex, so if I was to get merried, sex would be a HUGE perk. But if I really loved the girl, and wanted to be with her, than I would respect her wishes.


Still... I dont know if I could stay a virgin forever... I would live... it would just be hard.


Hope this helps a little, God bless.


:)
Since this wouldn't be a fulfilling relationship for me, I would have no choice but to leave it. I would respect their choice, but I would hope they would also respect mine. I would hold out in the hopes that i could find someone I could connect with both emotionally and physically.
Well, maybe they are afraid of having sex since they have never done it before. I would sit down with them and explain my thoughts on it (that it is a bonding experience with your other half that will bring us together more.), and ask them why they don't want to have sex ever.


This is so crazy though....is this happening to you? I'm so sorry you are in this position if you are!
marriage actually must be CONSUMATED.





if you married a person like that - they have severe psychological problems and need councellling.





Also - they do not like you - not one bit - let alone love you.





in short i have one final comment to this quesiton


WTF WTF WTF
i would try to find out why first and make sure all is ok and if there's no good resean i would have to leave i would'nt be able to understand why they would not want to it's a natural thing and something i could'nt live without, but give them a chance to explain first
In my state, you aren't married until the vows are consummated. If one party refuses to consummate the marriage, the other party has grounds for an annulment.





I would seek an annulment.
No, I would wonder what the heck was wrong with him...lol.


And everyone I know got married for love. Lust is a short term thing. Marriage is forever and for having a family. And you can't do that with a virgin spouse!
I would definately ask them this before we got married. I have always wanted to have kids. If he loved me enough he'd respect me and realize that it would make me happy to have kids. So, I don't think it would work out if we didnt.
You have to respect there choices but you have to discuss it with them because she has to respect your want for sex and she should be ready and if your married there has to be a different reason. Talk about it
I think that would be a problem for me. I feel that sex is an important part of a relationship, while it's not all of it, it is important.
If this was not discussed prior to the marriage, you can annul the marriage. It is fraud.
well, why did you get married? The Bible even tells you that once married your body becomes your spoouses and you shall please them.
As long as they were willing to do it when we were ready to have children I would be okay with it.
I would feel hurt because I couldn't have that special intimate bond with him.
i would divorce him if he wanted to remain a virgin after we got married
I would be like wtf.